Cuba — Travel — Heald by Travel

Havana, Cuba

Cuba was the first trip we took after our 6-year old son, Dylan, died. It was October 2008, five months after our lives had shockingly changed. Our dear friends asked my husband and I to go away with them for a week to Breezes Jibacoa. We rarely travel with others, but we had travelled with these friends before and knew there would be a lot of laughter which was exactly what we needed for our healing journey.

The resort was "adults-only", a criteria that had been added to our "Destination Decision Spreadsheet" once our children were born. If, and when, my husband and I were able to travel alone as a couple, we quickly learned we did not want other children there to make us miss our own even more. Now that Dylan had passed away, it had become an even more essential destination criteria.

Breezes Jibacoa was good, not quite the 5-star standard of Caribbean resorts that we had become accustomed to over the years, but what made the location so awesome was Jibacoa's proximity to Havana. We had been to Cuba a handful of times before but had never ventured into Havana. This time we were eager to explore Cuba's capital, just a one-hour drive away, and booked a tour shortly after arriving.

We packed an overnight bag and boarded the tour bus, eagerly anticipating exploring Havana's historical sights and museums during the day and taking in the sights and sounds of the world famous Tropicana show at night. Imagine my surprise when I discovered the first stop on the tour would be a cemetery, Cementerio de Cristóbal Colón. Given our current state of grief over losing our son, this was going to be tough. As the bus pulled in, we were awe-struck by the many elaborate mausoleums, graves and tombs. After exploring many sights and hearing stories of love and hope, we proceeded to the most visited grave in the cemetery, that of La Milagrosa or “The Miraculous One”. The tour guide explained that La Milagrosa is the grave of Amelia Goyre de Hoz, who died on May 3 (happens to be my mother's birthday), 1901 while giving birth to a son who also died and was buried in the same coffin - at the feet of his mother.

What?!? Are you kidding me. I didn't think I could move any closer. The tears were freely flowing down my cheeks. I heard the tour guide continue with the story. When the sarcophagus was later opened, the baby was reportedly found cradled in the mother’s arms. And, as if that wasn't enough for me to absorb, I was then told that many women pray to her in hopes of pregnancy. Sobbing, I said a prayer. At the time, only close family and friends were aware that we were currently exploring interventions to try and have another child.

The tour continued on taking us to various sights and then we stopped in Old Havana (La Habana Vieja) for a walking tour. Here is where we fell in love with Havana! We are really not that keen on bus tours so it was fantastic to get out and walk around. We quickly ditched the tour guide, opting instead to wander at will and absorb the architecture, the culture, the people, and the food. The evening at the Tropicana was spectacular and capped off a wonderful day.

As I do whenever in a Spanish-speaking country, I practice my Spanish as much as I can. Although still an amateur, I manage to do quite well at ordering gluten-free food, getting directions, or generally expressing myself. Our friends thought it was quite hilarious, tho, listening to me trying to explain to a bartender how to make a White Russian (Russo Blanco). Finally, exasperated with trying to decipher my instructions in Spanglish, he retorted: "In English, PLEASE!!" I was only mildly offended :), and it hasn't deterred me one bit.

As for the "healing" effects of this trip, memories of Dylan were evoked endlessly throughout which granted us many opportunities to learn about our grief. Despite staying at an adults-only resort, there were plenty of children that we encountered in Havana. I remember being mesmerized by a small boy about Dylan's age while he giggled with glee watching all the pigeons in the square. I stared at his mother and wordlessly willed her to know how lucky she was and hoped she treasured these moments.

The week before we left for Cuba, I had sent this email to friends that were arranging for a memory stone to be placed at Dylan's school:

At long last, we have decided on a saying for the memory stone. We would like the following wording...

Remembered with love, joy and laughter
Dylan Warren Galilee
January 6, 2002 - May 15, 2008

Love, Joy and Laughter! We experienced all of these on this vacation. Oodles of love from our friends, as well as total strangers that we met and with whom we shared our story; joy was found around every turn, on the beach and in the ocean; and laughter was plentiful, particularly on the dance floor at the disco; and, of course, there were also lots of tears. One of our first winter trips "south" with the kids had been to Cuba, and now here we were back on what would become many vacations without Dylan.

Travelling has always been healing for me in different ways. Now, it was helping to heal my grief.

Looks like I am not alone in ranking Havana as one of My Top 5 Favourite Cities. In May 2015, Havana was recognized as one of the New7Wonders Cities.

Of course, now that the United States and Cuba have restored diplomatic relations in July 2015, Cuba will be faced with much change. In my view, some of it will be good, some not so good. Read more about what to see and do in Cuba before it changes.

Click on the photo below to see some more of Havana's sights.

All Images by Elizabeth Heald.